Shiney Leaf

    

This is my personal story taking place in an eighteen month time span that begins with a small benign breast lump and brings me through three major surgeries, one a total mastectomy and the other two not knowing what would happen.

A few years ago, when I turned fifty, a friend, who was a couple of years younger, and I had bone density tests done. My friend, Pat was someone who smoked like a fiend, never was very athletic or active, never had children to chase around, absolutely hated vegetables and smoked like a chimney. As a result, she had COPD, was diagnosed with early emphysema and had benign skin growths removed regularly. I, on the other hand, had smoked only when I was eighteen, and grew up with copious amounts of spinach, broccoli, fresh caught seafood and avocados. I shopped the food co-ops in Berkeley and was a member of one in Palo Alto, CA and sprouted my own assortment of sprouts. I drank alfalfa tea and preferred mineral water with a sprig of mint and a twist of lemon to sodas. These choices were natural to me. I didn't grow up on biscuits and gravy, sugar laden breakfast cereals and spaghetti. We ate very healthful and my mother used a juicer and grew herbs and veggies in her garden, encouraging me to pick the veggies and eat them right there on the spot. She taught me about eating seasonally and that when the chickens aren't laying, don't eat eggs. My dad preferred barley to rice, multigrain homemade bread to store bought, and honey to sugar. Nutritionally, I grew up blessed.


So when the nurse did my bone density test, she did it over again exclaiming that she had never seen the numbers so high on someone my age. My bones were 55% denser than another person my age has. I have never broken a bone and to this day, have no arthritis, despite my aches and pains sometimes. She congratulated me and went on to Pat's results…she was well below acceptable limits and needed to supplement her diet with green, calcium rich vegetables, exercise more and definitely stop smoking. She said she'd never do that and the nurse became somber.


In 1990 when I was 35 years old, I had a tumultuous relationship that I was quite addicted to, I was recovering from a thirty day ordeal in 1986 (whereupon my daughter and myself had been held against our will in Los Angeles by a stranger) I was disgustingly highly compassionate, a nurturer and at times an enabler; I had a very hard to raise daughter and I was feeling a detachment from my own self. Out of fear of loneliness, I didn't do the right thing and get rid of the Klingon boyfriend yet, and I didn't keep as close of an eye on my fifteen year old daughter. I was not over grieving for my deceased mother and brother. My live-in boyfriend, Gary, was making life difficult on top of everything else by maintaining a kinda secret telephone relationship with other women, and I had such a tangled mess of my life I couldn't even begin to straighten out. My sister was going through a personal mess of her own and was detached from me, my brother whom I loved had passed away. So a lot of my life fell apart. My daughter continued her disrespect; Gary, who was not only OCD but had Tourette's Syndrome, was driving me mad. So what did I do? I married him, and shut out the rest of the world. I Shut Down.


To keep him active I urged him to become a truck driver. Gary had worked at Mc Donnell Douglas Aircraft in Long Beach, CA for the past 25 years, which is where we had met, but decided to quit his position to follow me across country. How do you tell someone to get lost, when he absolutely will not contribute to the relationship? So he went through driving school and went on the road. My daughter moved out and I was left with a rental in a Godforsaken part of the country, so I climbed into the truck with Gary for a year. The benefit to me was that I didn't have to worry about where to live…we had the truck! And as long as the wheels turned, there was an income. After a year of truckstop life and seeing the country, I set up an apartment in Phoenix where his company was headquartered and my daughter pretty much had the apartment to herself. I became the daughter and she became the mother. At sixteen, she had a live-in boyfriend, was attending Bryman School full time and working at Walgreen's. And then there was the miscarriage when I held my tiny grandson in the palm of my hand after scooping him out of the toilet, wanting to rush him and his mother to the emergency in hopes of maybe saving his life. Realizing it was best for me to go back out in the big rig to avoid creating a huge rift between my daughter and myself, I came by the apartment every month, often staying for a week. My daughter and her boyfriend had use of my insured, paid for pick-up truck, had a free place to live and they didn't have to worry about parents. Boy, that was bliss for any teenager. Like I said, she was very hard to deal with and I feared losing her as a permanent runaway when she was fourteen, so I gave in to her demands for the next three years. I gave up my horse, my job and went on the road for another year to try to get to know my husband of just a few months, a little better. We ate at truckstops and Waffle Houses and since he was always on the run to make that coveted $18,000 a year income, and most of it went home to the daughter and boyfriend, even though they both held down jobs, we ate once a day. Usually chicken fried steak, loads of sausage gravy, baked potato with sour cream and real butter and salad bar with all the creamy dressings. Or I indulged from the buffet. Food became my lover, my best friend. Always there, always ready to make you feel better. Glorious Food.


To ride on a big truck back then, you had to have a blood pressure within reasonable limits. After the first year out on the road, mine ballooned to 170/90 and I was told that I could not ride on the truck until my bp was within a better range. I stayed in the apartment in Phoenix much to my demise. My daughter and her boyfriend moved out upon her graduation (I was not invited), they left the truck in need of major repairs in the parking lot and bought a Nissan at a Buy Here Pay Here lot and emptied my bank account. Of course, it didn't help my bp. So I was off the truck, and my husband ran into the arms of his old girlfriends, free of my scrutiny. I hung onto him because he didn't drink or smoke, but he was addicted to porn in private (once while cleaning out his big rig, I was shocked to find Burt Reynold's Playgirl centerfold taped on his sun visor as well as other provocative pictures of men torn from magazines) , and had known women all over the country (they had the nerve to call the house) he claimed were interested in Amsoil, a direct marketing opportunity, and despite his proclamation that he is a Born Again Christian he professed he was above any cheating. In fact, many disagreements were about my distrust of him, but he refused to cooperate with the times I had served him with dissolution papers. The more I wanted him out, the more he pushed to stay.


So I physically left him and in 1992, first to stay on a piece of property I had bought sight unseen from an ad in Mother Earth News, then headed east to Virginia, staying at a friend's house until I found one of my own, the next month. My weight had steadily rose to 230 and stayed there for the most part. The gravy disappeared and the husband stayed out on the road and only came home a few days a year. My daughter decided to stop all communications with me in 1993, threatening a court order if I ignored her demands. She had moved in with me in 1992 to flee her now "bad marriage", nearly nine months pregnant with my first 'live' grandson, lived with me for a year with her new baby and then decided to move out and marry a local boy with a family who said they wanted her to be the daughter they never had. So I shut down even further, watched the OJ Simpson trial religiously, drew the blinds and hoarded 63 cats in a townhouse in Northern Virginia, along with six giant dogs, twelve ferrets and anything else that needed love and care. And great food. I worked part time, had my husbands' income to live on, showed dogs and cats and made one friend, Stephanie, who gently and kindly put my severely derailed self back on track, helped me rehome almost all the cats, sold the dogs and ferrets and showed me some rays of hope. I had even taken in a family of opossums. I was so keen on hiding my spiraling out of control self that I even managed to successfully pass three environmental health inspections during those five dark years, attesting to my good housekeeping skills. Stephanie was my angel in disguise. With the help of another very long time friend, I returned to California in 1999 to start anew, working for Doris Day at her home in Carmel, CA to care for her own addictions (twelve dogs) and at Cat's Cradle cat sanctuary, another woman for whom I cared for her 360 cats in Pacific Grove, California. I also was housekeeper to an RN who lived in Pacific Grove who was over 500 lbs. She introduced me to Andreas Bocelli in a sad way. Each day she played his music and cried for her self to return. So did Doris and the other woman I cared for grieve over the fact of having lost themselves because of their good hearts and desires to please. With a new horse, new saddle and no husband to depend on me, I decided to let myself be influenced by a friend who had been successful with the Atkins diet.


Between 2000 and 2005 I was an Atkins diet fan because of the considerable weight loss I experienced and continued my technical riding training. I was very strict until 2003 when I began modifying it to include any vegetable that was green. I felt great, filed for a divorce again and this time followed it through to the Final Decree in 2005. Life became stable and relatively enjoyable. My weight remained firm at 200 lbs and I wore a size 12/14 for many years to follow. I exercised heavily and was very fit and felt great! But then again, my cravings for Chinese fast food took over (damn that Panda Express!!) and the weight began to creep on again very slowly. I threw away the scale and let my clothes be the guide.


I had experienced excellent, trouble-free health up until 2006 when a doctor discovered that dreaded small breast lump during a routine mid-menopausal exam. She ordered umpteen billion blood tests including estrogen and thyroid, and also ordered a mammogram. Weight-wise I was considered morbidly obese at 230. Since I had continually been an extremely physical person and far exceeded any strength testing for someone my age because of strenuous training in equestrian arts and grooming eight or more dogs a day, the doctor said for me not to take the height weight charts too seriously. It claimed I should weigh between 145-165 pounds. I weighed 128 lbs. when I became pregnant with my daughter in 1974. When I delivered a healthy 8 lb. 1 oz. baby in 1975, I weighed 160 lbs. and within a month resumed a weight of 147 lbs. which was well accepted for my five foot nine frame. I fairly maintained that range until I was thirty five, where I stopped the regular hard physical activity, and rose to 170 lbs. I wore a size twelve in jeans and a medium to large in top and enjoyed great health otherwise. My weight was directly affected by my level of strenuous activity. When the activity ceased and I continued to eat like a quarterback, the weight crept on. So I tried another concept…don't exercise strenuously, or nearly at all, and go back to the Atkins Plan. I lost muscle and little weight, and definitely lost strength. I was also feeling as though my blood pressure was going up again and my stamina was not there. I was taking up to three 250 mg. of plain aspirin three or more times a day to ease the headaches and general malaise. I attributed it to my very active lifestyle.


The small breast lump grew to a great size in a short amount of time and in the fall of 2010, it went from barely detectable to quite visibly the size of an egg in three days time. Not good. I called Virginia Commonwealth University Medical Center and discussed making an appointment. They relayed my inquiry to the Massey Cancer Center for an appointment. My soul hit an all time low. Especially when at that initial appointment at Massey Cancer Center, I stepped on the scales and weighed in at 267 lbs. I said I'm carrying two large bags of dog food with me all the time. The nurse said that was also making my blood pressure 214/197 and because of my level of activity, I'm building muscle to carry all that weight. The muscle weighs more. I was also told I was about 30% water weight. Boy what a mess...Charles held my hand and told me that he loves me. That day, I was slammed big time. The anasthesiologist considered my weight at 270 for the amount of sedatives to put me under, and it took a month the first time to wear off all the horrible effects of it, the second surgery I was hospitalized for twenty days afterwards, and the third surgery I mentioned this to the new anasthesiologist and she used a different 'concoction' during surgery. Aftrer seven hours under the knife, I was discharged after just an hour in recovery. It still took five months to recover at home, but it was a dramatic difference. I had been literally walking around poisoned for the past eighteen months. during recoveries, it was all I could do to stay awake and spent much time sleeping.


The breast cancer journey is a story into itself. Just like an airplane ride, everyone has a different experience. I've been mad, sad, glad, bad, happy, elated, hurt, scorned, dumped, welcomed and not in a normal sense. All feelings have been elevated. My daughter who is now approaching her late thirties decided to reconnect with me in a prescribed way. Her Way. Detached and distant. I found out she has three children, one who is attending a university. I call her children 'her children' because they are not in a sense, my grandchildren. Last year, when I met her middle son while looking quite disheveled in the hospital just an hour out of a seven hour surgery, I was elated. He promised to friend me on facebook and they left after an informal photo session, probably so he can have a picture of his mothers' mother before she died, and can say that he had "met me".


So after three surgeries for breast cancer, the last one malignant but with a clean score afterwards, a lopsided body and weight that has stabilized just under 280 (man! That is such a huge number!!) and a very strange, fairly platonic marriage (my masectomy scars grossed Charles out), I took up the art of baking and cooking like it was going out of style. The scale rusted so I threw it away so I don't have a clue what I weigh, but I am limited in clothes and they are wearing out, so I have to get it together and re-do my body so I'll have something to wear! I thought to myself that if I sink much lower, I'll just give up and die, and everything that means anything to me will probably go to the person Charles decides to let into his life, and I certainly don't want that. I think I'll live a long life, cancer-free and outlive all these animals because the thought of someone else riding my horses or loving on my ponies just makes my hair stand on end. Ha!  Back to the Shiney Leaf story...

The left breast lump discovery which was initially diagnosed as nothing but a harmless breast cyst, CIS, was thought to be caused by drinking too much coffee.

The initial lump, was not detected by me, but by a gynecologist, Dr. Silvia, during a clinical exam in late 2006. As is routine when a breast lump is found, a mammogram, a breast ultrasound and then a fine needle biopsy was then ordered and completed. My doctors’ nurse told me it was most likely a common disease of the milk duct, and then I was told it was simply fibroid tissue. After two weeks of waiting for Dr. Silvia to  return my call, I was advised by a friend to get a second opinion by an oncologist.  After reading the pathology report from the needle biopsy, the second doctor assured me I had nothing to worry about as the lump was “benign“. Dr. Silvia finally returned my call after two months still not to discuss the pathology report and also said I had nothing to be concerned about. The lump, which was about the size of a pea did indeed appear to go away, or maybe atleast shrink away from touch.

After the initial fine needle biopsy (FNB), the gynecologist, Dr. Silvia, never gave me the pathology report, never returned my future phone calls and left me not knowing the results of the biopsy. Never was the word tumor mentioned, nor was the word cancerous or malignant so I went about my normal life assuming everything was fine. Until August of 2009 when the tumor came back in the exact same spot.

In my research of breast disorders I discovered that with increasing frequency, women are being diagnosed with breast diseases, breast lumps, benign cysts and malignant tumors. Mastectomies are becoming more common. I have learned that Breast cancer, which has become a woman’s most dreaded fear is not the only reason to have a mastectomy. The Phyllodes or Phylloides tumor is an aggressive tumor which is most commonly found in a woman’s, and rarely a man’s left breast.

Hopefully, during the course of our lives we all will have an experience that will bring us closer to people, give us a better understanding of our purpose of life of which is designed to make us a better person. Many of us have near death experiences, a life altering experience or something that happens that that gives us this desire to share a personal accounting with others.

My experience with my own breast tumor, first diagnosed as a benign cyst in 2006 and later in 2009 correctly diagnosed as the rare Phyllodes tumor prompted me to have that burning desire to share my story with as many people as possible.

I am writing down everything I know and have learned about this rare tumor. I feel that I have exhausted every available source to learn everything about the Phyllodes tumor to this date. I struggled as to whether I would write this as just a concise informative book or make it more personal and share my struggles with the reader. I chose to personalize it and tell you how the tumor changed my life and of those around me.

I’ve also discovered several support and information groups on the internet. I want to mention that on the internet, not everything is as it is presented nor is it always true. I was astounded by several women’s account of her struggle with the Phyllodes tumor and how several women had had as many as five reoccurrences of the tumor in the same place. I could probably write a chapter devoted on the falsehoods and exaggerations that is found on the internet. I have gone to alternative medicine sources, “doctors” of oriental medicine, medical clairvoyants and other health food store gurus who seemed to have a “cure” for my condition, some worth looking into and some were absolutely absurd. While I believe these “specialists” have knowledge about foods and herbs and their curative properties, I have enough common sense to believe that they are not the end-all.

The most important thing I have discovered is that there is indeed an end to this journey. While the road has been rough and I have undergone a mastectomy and months of agonizing have ensued, there is indeed a last chapter.


          I am first of all thankful to God, our Heavenly Father, for giving me the opportunity and ability to experience and share the information I have about the rare Phyllodes tumor and how it affected my own life.God has never let me down.

        I am thankful of the excellent diagnostic skills of my radiologist, Dr. Gilda Cardenosa of Virginia Commonwealth University’s Medical Center of Virginia (VCU) and her wonderful, caring, loving team of technologists who was quick to spot the characteristics of this tumor, the first time in 2009 and the second time in 2010, and the third occurence and the strength she gave me even though I could see so much in her face.

        I am indebted to my surgical oncologist, Dr. K. Takabe and his entire nursing staff who endured my husband’s nervousness and made us feel special and personally cared for while realizing we were apprehensive during my appointments at his clinic at Massey Cancer Center at VCU.  His forthright honesty, compassion and superb communication skills during round one in 2009 and round two in 2010 made the rocky road a lot smoother. Round Three I don't think we want to relive.

A special hug and thank you to Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery Dr’s. Klumb, Matante and their teams of residents, interns and students, both in the surgery and afterwards. Nurse Practitioner Charlene Long who has superb skills in aftercare and tying up all the loose ends during round two recovery in Critical Care, I love you all.

A gigantic thank you to all of the nursing staff, care providers, nutrition specialists and others who made my stay at the “VCU Hotel” aka Critical Care ward the best it could have been.
     
 I want to thank Brother Mark T. Evans and his wife Cindy for offering the services of their dental practice nurse for my blood pressure readings in 2009, and of course the nurse for being so supportive and positive.  I also want to give an extra recognition in particular for Cindy for her continued support between the first tumor and the second tumor, her cherished hospital visit with her lovely daughter, Tiffany and her continued support upon my return home. Her grace and charm was not unnoticed. And here’s another hug for Beth Evans! I still feel this gratitude, even though you all dropped me like a hot potato after my third surgery.
        
         Thank you to the entire congregation of our rural church, the Lawrenceville, Virginia branch of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for outreaching to myself and my husband Charles in our difficult time, but especially Sister Colette Harper and her loveable husband Michael for their generosity and unwavering support and true concern. To Sister Lisa Cottingham I thank you for her sincere passion for me during my darkest moments in 2009, and for letting me vent my feelings in the library in 2010. Colette and I ended our close relationship after the third surgery because the stress of my life overwhelmed her.
    
        I personally thank my church branch (past) President Stephen Evans of our church for his faith and steadfastness during our difficult times in 2009, and for his perseverance in guiding us spiritually and I am thankful for our discussions of faith.

        And especially Thank You to Audrey Rusteau (2009), Mandi Davis (2009) and Barb Riddle (2009-2010) for sticking by me during the initial diagnosis. While our friendship faded, I will still never forget your support and positive energy during those times.
      
        A big hug and “Thank You” to my precious daughter, Veronica Gilmore for all the beautiful flowers, snack basket and cheering me up bedside after surgery both times in 2009 and in 2010. You have no idea how happy you made me by being there when I came out of surgery. And thanks for bringing Thomas and letting him help the nurse change my bandage from the skin graft and give him knowledge about what was happening.even though we are back to our strained relatioship and are again estranged since early 2012 I still think you are wonderful.

        My sister in law, Laura Nave, what would I have done without your long telephone calls and your surprise visit with your children to give me hugs over the holidays in 2009. I hope you continue to grow in spirit, even though you refuse contact with your brother and myself.

        Thank you to my sister, Jane, for calling me for the first time in over ten years and bringing humor into my life while I recovered in 2009. I am sorry that we had to go through so many challenges in 2010, but it’s okay. I love you regardless. I am sorry we went back to our old ways of our relationship.
       
     A big thanks to my friend Judy who kept me on my toes during the summer of 2010 by maintaining the schedules of my dogs, cats and livestock back at home while I was hospitalized in 2010. Cheers! I hope you are finding life treating you well.

But I have a special thank you to my loving and devoted husband, Charles for making the journey with me. I cannot tell you how special you are and how much I love you, and how thoughtful and caring you have been in this difficult time. Your love for me is not unnoticed nor unappreciated. You have been through some difficult times in your life but none as difficult as standing by me and being my pillar of strength for me, and accepting the fact with honor and dignity that life is fragile. You are my best friend, indeed. I love you!





      

           Disclaimer

This is my personal story. It is not meant to be a diagnostic tool or any kind of a substitute for seeking your own medical care. This is just one persons experience and yours may be very different indeed.

When you have a health concern, please seek the most competent medical advice available. If you are not satisfied with the care or answers to your questions, seek another qualified opinion. And never give up searching until you are satisfied.









Phyllodes tumor description

Also known as: Giant Breast tumors - if over 10 cm in diameter, Phylloides, phyllodes, biphasic fibro epithelial neoplasms, cystosarcoma phyllodes.

Rarity
Scarcity of available information


Characteristics and symptoms not caught or misdiagnosed.










Limited scope of treatment options

Oftentimes people ask me about radiation or chemotherapy; when is it to start? It is then that I say that not all tumors respond to radiation and chemotherapy. People simply connect tumors with cancer and its treatment, or think that tumors and cysts are one and the same. Usually when I say that, nothing is mentioned as they simply don’t have the comprehension of my condition. It’s not a disease, it could be chronic though. I’ve read on the internet of women who have had as many as six phyllodes tumor reoccurrences. Again, you can’t believe all that you read on the internet. But I must admit that my own reoccurrence had me wondering.

The only way to “treat” the phyllodes tumor is removal of the tumor and margins. In a reoccurring phyllodes tumor if you run out of margins you are presented with another problem. Chest wall reconstruction is documented to have some success.





















Questions I have that are unanswered (and possibly their answers)

What is the scope of research being done on the phyllodes tumor?
A: Currently (September 2010) there is no formal research being done for a cure or treatment other than surgical recision. It has been suggested that a vaccine be developed as some findings suggest that the PT is viral in nature.

What is the commonality between the people who have it, besides mainly afflicting women and being on the left side? Age? Job? Lifestyle? Diet? Environment?
A:

Can diet or complementary medicine really shrink or stop a tumors growth?  How about the PT in particular?
A:



Can a body’s chemistry becoming more alkaline help the phyllodes specifically?
A:

Does the phyllodes tumor thrive in an acidic or alkaline environment?
A:

What has been the typical rate of growth?
A: Initial tumors grow slower than reoccurrences.

What is the largest Phyllodes tumor (PT) recorded? (Weight and dimension)
A: 20x25x30cm and up to 40-45cm


When was the PT named distinctively from other tumors?
A: The phyllodes tumor was originally described by Johannes Muller in 1838. The PT has had no less than 62 different names. The WHO (World Health Organization) decided to call the cystosarcoma phyllodes simply the Phyllodes Tumor.

How many PT’s does the tumor registry have recorded?
A: This is hard to be exact as you would have to have all the statistics from each and every hospital.

What is a definition of a tumor registry?
A: Each hospital has it’s own tumor registry. The classification of a tumor is defined by the World Health Organization (WHO) and CDC (Center for Disease Control). Tumor registry information is volunteered and shared through publications and conferences, usually either Surgical Oncology or similar venues throughout the world.

Can an allergen free diet help the disease?
A: It cannot hurt.

What other health issues have been noted in PT patients?
A: Auto-immune deficiency, borderline MS.

What is the health history of PT patients?
A: Generally average health with no other health issues.

Which facilities have been treating PT patients?
A: Major regional medical centers with privately funded Cancer research centers.

What have been their recommended treatments?
A: Radiology and chemotherapy has proven to be ineffective treatments for the PT. The only successful treatment is surgical excision with wide margins.

Are there any internet support groups for those recently diagnosed with PT?
A: Yes, there are several support groups for the PT on Facebook as well as discussion forums on the American Cancer Society’s website under “Rare cancers” and “Breast Cancers“.







The Questionnaire I am considering using to collect data: (and my personal answers)

What was your age when first diagnosed by a physician as Phyllodes?
A. 54 years old

Besides the physical tumor, what other symptoms or unusual differences did you feel?
A. Unexplainable exhaustion
Joint soreness upon waking
Water weight gain
Lethargy
Sore feet - similar to Gout

How was the Phyllodes tumor diagnosed?
A. Through mammogram, ultrasound, MRI with dye, core needle biopsy and fully confirmed upon surgical excision and biopsy.

What was the name of the facility and your Doctor?
A. MCV/VCU Richmond, VA. Massey Cancer Center, Dr. Takabe.


What was explained to you as treatment options?
A. Dr. Takabe said that the only treatment option was surgical mastectomy or lumpectomy and fully explained the procedures. I chose total mastectomy.

How did you find more recent information on the Phyllodes and PT patients?
A. Finding RECENT information was/is nearly impossible and the most recent dates for research information was from November 2008. Some information is found in forums but it is not clinical and the information cannot be reliable or truthful without verifiable references and citings.“Describe in one paragraph…”

Your emotional health
A. Example: I live in what would be a very stressful environment with many issues on a regular basis. At times I find it hard to cope and have seeked counseling numerous times.

Your psychological health
A. Example: I am a very strong person and find it easier to cope with issues than others. I tend to hold things in and then find the right time to discuss the issue.

Your environment
A. Example: I live in an pre-1960 house with a well in a county with very few regulations and concerns for the environment. While the air is clean here, the water may not be because of so many metal and junk recycling businesses could be contaminating it.

Your job
A. Example: I am self employed in a physically and emotionally stressful business. It is more stressful than most businesses. I earn less than $2000 a year.

Your home
A. Example: The house that I lived in during the first round with PT is old and probably has lead or asbestos, and had a questionable well. I don’t use air conditioning and conventional heating methods. It gets dusty because it is near a busy road. I now live in a house that’s a little better.

Your diet
A. Example: My diet is not restricted and I enjoy Chinese buffets on a regular basis. I drink plenty of water and take vitamins. I eat plenty of fruit and vegetables and abstain from pre-packaged meals.


Allergies
A. Example: I used to have a high level of allergies and was allergic to everything. I had the series of allergy shots to desensitize me and now I am only allergic to watermelon and avocados. When I eat these foods my tongue gets little blisters on it and sometimes my stomach is a little upset. If I put lemon on these foods however, there is no allergic reaction.

What has been your experience with the Phyllodes tumor?
A. Example: I have had a strenuous experience over the last two years with the phyllodes tumor disease and feel blessed to have the opportunity to write about my firsthand experience with it.

How do you feel?
A. Example:  I feel much, much better now than in-between the first and second surgeries. I feel hopefully confident that this is the end of the disease.

After all your research of the phyllodes tumor what are your conclusions and feelings about future research?
A. I think that there is a correlation between calcium levels (being high) and intermittent allergies/immune suppression in individuals and the acidic/alkalinity balance in the system. I also have read that the PT behaves in some ways like a virus and that there could be hope in developing a vaccination to be administered to individual young women between the ages of 10-14 and as late as 28 years of age. It would be impossible to do clinical testing on animals because this tumor seems to develop in the third or fourth decade of a woman’s life and animals don’t experience the same maladies as we do or the same physical benchmarks.

I am, when I began writing  A Shiney Leaf, fifty-four years old. I was born in San Francisco, California in 1955, a middle class upbringing by two loving parents in the suburb of Pacifica, California, and experienced no childhood trauma or abuse. I ate my fruits and vegetables and had no major diseases or afflictions, besides allergies. I always had pets and my mother bought my first horse on her then Bankamericard when I was eleven years old. I have had a horse in my life since 1966. I currently own two horses, a Hanoverian gelding and a Lipizzaner stallion.

I never experimented with drugs as a teenager and did not have any alcohol until I was eighteen, and then it was only white wine or Cognac. I have been intoxicated only two times in my entire life, have had no run-in’s with the law and was a good student in school. My education was unique as I attended junior college at the age of fifteen. Early in the summer of 1970, then San Jose Mayor Norm Mineta declared me San Jose’s “IDEAL AMERICAN GIRL” because of my civic, community and educational commitments. Other achievements was having my poetry being read in local competitions and being elected for student political office at De Anza College in Cupertino, California.

I have a sister who is 16 ½ years older than myself, and is at the time, in good health with manageable issues common to being a senior. Our brother passed away at fifty-two, in 1997 from complications of several long term illnesses. He was an alcoholic to be certain, but I loved him dearly. Our parents were decent law abiding citizens, our father passed away in 1977 at sixty-two years of age due to lung disease, presumably absorption of asbestos, from his employment as an electrician on the Bay Area Rapid Transit System. I believe he had emphysema since 1965 and the asbestos didn‘t help anything as he coughed continuously, sometimes gasping for air and passing out as a result. He smoked cigarettes and marijuana and drank alcohol, and drank a lot of coffee. Our mother passed away in 1980, at the age of sixty, after a nearly three year bout with uterine and colon cancer and passed away from surgical complications, namely peritonitis. She smoked as much as three packs a day, but didn’t drink alcohol unless a social setting invited her. She was otherwise healthy and naturally fit. She didn’t know she had cancer until it was at a stage three, at 57 years of age.

I enjoy the out of doors, gardening, horses, cooking and baking and most domestic activities.

Past employment for me was always artistic, unique and was “problem solving” positions. I worked in architectural and interior design, electrical and robotic design, manufactured custom draperies and window coverings, did painting and wallpaper installation, worked as a graphic artist doing rendering for giant corporations, refinished antiques, trained, showed and groomed dogs and cats, cooked gourmet meals for people who lived in gated communities in the Palm Springs area and was a companion to some very wealthy people. For a year I was actor/singer/dancer Doris Day’s dogs’ chef in Carmel, California and also cared for hundreds of homeless cats in a cat sanctuary in Pacific Grove, California. Everything I have done for others required that I be sensitive, respectful, precise, thorough and demonstrate a good upbringing. While I never made much money, I am overflowing with good memories of good people.



In July 2006, at age fifty-one, I was working as a mobile dog groomer for Powell Bros. Feed Store in Vallejo, in the north San Francisco bay area. Experiencing an erratic menstrual cycle all of a sudden I decided to seek medical attention. While I was aware of the traditional signs of menopause, I was not having “hot flashes”, mood swings or any of the other signs that most women know about signaling menopause. I thought that maybe I was pregnant or had a hormonal imbalance issue that needed attention. I had experienced an ectopic pregnancy in 1986 after a tubal ligation reversal failed and a false at-home pregnancy test, so I was attentive to sudden changes.

I did some research online to decide which physician in my insurance network would be the best for me and then made a call for an appointment with Dr. Silvia T in Benicia, CA.

Upon arriving at the doctors office, she asked me about my medical history and then proceeded with an exam. All was normal until she did the breast exam and brought my attention to a very small lump about the size of a pea to my attention. She asked me when my last mammogram was and I told her I had never had one because of my concerns with radiation. She explained to me that the danger with such a small amount of radiation is nothing, compared to the potential any breast lump has to become health threatening. So with that in mind, she recommended that I call for a mammogram appointment, of which I did that day. She also sent me to an offsite lab for blood work and to check my hormonal level. This ascertained that I was indeed menopausal and was at the end of my reproductive years. Later, she told me on the phone that I should not be experiencing any more menstrual cycle and I then asked her why I had not been showing any of the traditional signs. She explained that I was just one of the lucky ones. That was the last conversation I had with her.

I went to the mammogram appointment and it was a very uncomfortable experience, but I did atleast get to see the lump that was discovered by a clinical breast exam. Knowing nothing about breast lumps, diseases or the like, I was scared of the possible outcome. Immediately after the mammogram I was scheduled for a breast ultrasound and possible fine needle aspiration or biopsy as it was called. The time between these appointments seemed like eternity and the fear built up for both Charles and myself. With no one to talk to about those fears, and Charles becoming very scared of the future, I found it more difficult to concentrate on my work as a dog groomer. My employers wife was a very kind woman from Thailand and spoke to a friend of hers who was a well known oncologist nearby. He agreed to a consultation with me and I gave consent for him to examine my medical records beforehand.

Once at his office, I found him to be a very relaxed and casual person with a lovely office and environment. Sometimes the words oncology would bring me back to my mother and her struggle with third stage cancer. The medical offices that she went to back in 1977-80 was nowhere as nice as the one I was now in and I felt bad for her. Cancer was big business now and here I was, officially discussing my diagnosis and possible prognosis and treatment options. I stared into the reflection ponds of fish, looked upwards at the tropical vegetation and listened to the soothing music, all to try to take one’s mind off of the dreaded fact of reality that was associated with the word Cancer. Then my mind wandered to the associated costs of treatment, our lack of insurance because of my ex-husband’s lack of integrity and our meager means and possessions. I for a moment, saw it all slipping away in an instant along with my strength, my energy and possibly my hair. I then thought about Charles, my best friend, lover, companion and his future without me. It was all too much to bear. And then the doctor called us in to his office.

He examined me and said that after looking over the lab reports that I had nothing to worry about. I had a simple fibrous breast mass that many women have and it was benign. He didn’t recommend removing it as it was just a nuisance and there are far more complications with surgery than with the benign mass. He said annual exams and good diet along with the elimination of caffeine were his recommendations. His bill for this great news was over $500. My insurance didn’t cover it.

For some reason it didn’t completely settle with Charles and myself as the end to the story. We discussed and researched it and everything was inconclusive. Our focus now became having a beautiful life and enjoying each other. The hectic life of a full time mobile dog groomer in the San Francisco bay area was not rewarding anymore, either intellectually or financially. In fact, in many ways it kept us too busy and exhausted so, I decided to give notice to my employer and we returned back to our little Arizona enclave in September or 2006 and shrink our world to make it very manageable.

Charles was the more employable of us two at this point and I began to focus on cutting back our resources and changing things around. Most of the horses were sold, our plans of building a house by hand came and went, day by day. Then Charles and I were both laid off from our local jobs in retail due to corporate cutbacks. Charles tried a management position and left for a very long training program out of state. It didn’t work and he returned. We then had a huge yard/ranch sale and packed up and moved to Virginia. After all, my daughter and her family lived in Virginia and I had lived there previously for seven years and liked it a lot, so with two dogs, four horses and a handful of cats and chickens, we moved to Richmond, Virginia in June of 2008. Everything went very well and was uneventful until June of 2009.

Initial symptoms/observations
Initial diagnosis and methods of diagnosing
Any changes I had between 2006-09 (3 pages)

My 2009 Medical history begins in July (25 pages)
Symptoms/observations that something was wrong
Changes observed (Illustrations)
What was going thru my head
Getting medical attention
Thinking out of the box
Outreaching via social networking
Initial VCU visit
Mammogram, ultrasound and core biopsy
MRI with dye
Pre-surgical consultation
Pre-surgery activities and thoughts
Day of surgery
Surgery
Post-operative recovery
Post operative options, reconstructive surgery discussions
Post operative consultations

Possible Environmental exposures/issues, coincidences, dietary.
Mammogram and ultrasound. Initial diagnosis of Phyllodes tumor.

November
13 Friday  MRI with dye.

18 Wednesday  Had get together at the house with close friends
19 Thursday Groomed three dogs.
20 Friday       Surgery
21 Saturday  Discharge from hospital at 1130 am.


December
10 Thursday Laura and her family arrived.

12  Saturday First full day of grooming
13  SUNDAY  Laura and her family left at 10 pm.

18 FRIDAY Charles and  I went to the local library today and also to Food lion to get graham crackers and other items to make some holiday treats. Snow started falling at 3 pm.
19 SATURDAY Laura, Audrey, the Elders and Frank called to see how I was doing. Snow is still falling and it is quite cold outside and inside.
20 Sunday Charles is off all day and night!!


2010

Between January 2010 and the first part of May of 2010 I had some good days and some not so good days, but basically got around okay. Definitely not enough energy to groom dogs on an even partial part time basis and my grooming clientele dropped to negligent numbers. I now called them “friends” instead of clients and groomed the dogs that were cooperative and non-challenging. We had many problems with our landlord at this time and did without heat and hot water for more days than we care to remember. Eventually, our landlord could not financially afford to keep rental houses and the house we had grown to love was now sold out from underneath us to out of state buyers. We were given thirty day notice to vacate by the first of July, 2010. I found a for sale by owner house on the internet and we contracted to buy a small fixer upper on a few acres nearby. Charles employment at Davis Oil continued to flourish and he was quickly tapped for management. We asked church members to help us move and it took a few days to get everything moved over and set up. I couldn’t do much other than supervise the location of where to put boxes as my energy level was rapidly declining and sleep was my primary activity. I was too tired to consider anything that required much movement.

By July, I Slept often. Slight indigestion after eating, Swelling of left foot and leg. Discussed it with Bonnie Huddle. She urges me to make appointment as soon as possible with VCU. Appointment was made for August 10 at 2 pm. Colette Harper offered to take me to appointment.

On August 5, as I was bathing I discovered a new lump on my left breast just below incision scar, the size and shape of a robin’s egg. Panic set in.

August 10 Went to appointment at Dr. Takabe’s clinic. Core biopsy done right there in his clinic office.

August 20, 2010 Mammogram, ultrasound and MRI

August 31, 2010 Return to Dr. Takabe’s office for The Plan. First words out of his mouth was “Surgery on Friday.” Signed permission for procedure which nearly gave Dr. Takabe carte blanc for deciding on surgery to be done. But be certain to be aggressive.

September 3, 2010 Surgery 10 am-230 pm

September 3-14, 2010 admitted to Critical Care

Wound VAC
Skin graft

September 3 Friday
I do not remember being in recovery or being transported to hospital room 7-122. I believe I was semi-conscious at dinnertime. I remember being ravenously hungry and thirsty and Charles offering me sips of water thru a straw. Dinner was brought in and I sampled a few green beans, Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes. It quickly was eliminated as anesthesia still had control over my stomach contents and nausea ensued. Charles spent the night in a recliner and Care Partner Virginia watched over us that night. Laura as the RN.

September 4 Saturday
Veronica and James stopped by at about noon. They stayed until 540 pm. Charles stayed until about 5 pm as he had to check up on the home front.

September 5 Sunday
Uneventful. Uncomfortable.

September 6  Monday
Uneventful. Uncomfortable.

September 7  Tuesday
Charles came at about 5 pm and brought a big Pothos plant from Dani’s mother.

September 8  Wednesday
Charles left at about 3 am for work.

September 9  Thursday
Davis Oil sent nice flower arrangement.

September 10 Friday
Woke up at about 730 am. Was told by Plastic and Reconstructive (P&R) Dr. Klumb that they would be changing my main bandage with the Wound VAC in about an hour. Had IV morphine for pain. Not pleasant! Was moved to new room 7-152 and Bonnie Huddle came by to visit mid afternoon. Many visitors, student nurses, doctors, residents, interns, etc. Too many people in one day for me. Colette and Mike came by at about 5 pm and brought four delicious chocolate chip cookies. Charles came at about 6 pm and stayed overnight. Dr. Takabe came by in the evening and he discussed everything with me in regards to his role. Said discharge mainly P&R responsibility now. Charles left Saturday morning at about 8 am.

September 11 Saturday
Woke up at about 730 am. Less doctors coming by today. Will change donor site bandage today. Charles and Judy came by at about 4 pm and left at about 6 pm. Brought food from Whole Foods. Cindy and her daughter came by and Colette called and visited over the phone.

September 12 Sunday
Woke up at about 7 am after a comfortable night sleeping in a pretzel position. Very friendly staff.

September 13 Monday
Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeon came by late in the morning and said that bandage and Wound VAC pad will not be changed today but tomorrow and there is a possibility that I would be going home tomorrow. I made my plea that I feel I can care for myself better at home. Dr. Takabe came in and said he was waiting for the final lab report (pathology) and we chatted for awhile.

To Discharge or not to Discharge…

Eleventh day today and I am ready to escape!! I wake up at 6 am, shower and wash my hair, straighten up my room and await breakfast. It’s now only 7 am. Charles calls at 730 hoping for news. LOL.

I’m waiting patiently for a Doctor or Nurse Practitioner to come by with Dr. Metante for their assessment and hopefully discharge from VCU.

Dr. Takabe comes to visit today with a huge smile. He has the final path report and he said the aggressive surgery has won the battle! He declared me clean, clear and free of any Phyllodes tumor. It’s gone!

Nurse Practitioner Charlene and Dr. Metante arrive, we exchange pleasantries and I lay on the hospital bed for bandage removal and assessment. Dr. Metante is pleased with the progress, but Charlene and I express concern for the lack of adequate drainage as it is pooling under my skin in the area under my arm along my left side. It is obvious that the Wound VAC is not doing a good job for this particular area and the enormous expense associated with the Wound VAC is not justifying figuring out a way to get the machine home with me. At a cost of $2300+ a month and a deposit that is more than my mortgage payment just was not going to become a reality! I explained to the Dr’s that I had other ways of healing that were a little unconventional and desperately wanted to go home, after about ten seconds of deliberation, Dr. Metante nodded to my discharge and Charlene quickly went about teaching me about wound dressing changing. It was a joyous moment indeed! An appointment for follow-up was made for late September in their clinic and after bandages were changed, I set about e-mailing and calling those who wanted to know the minute of my discharging time. Charles was so excited he found it difficult to get through the day at work. He called me every other hour and along his route to VCU. He arrived early and I wasn’t prepared to go yet, so I began gathering my personal items and placed them on a three level cart the nurses had brought up to transport my things down to the ‘outside world” where Charles was waiting at precisely 6 pm. Well, actually he had been there since 515 pm but I had to gather everything and wait for the nurses to escort me downstairs.

The ride home was uneventful as I was looking forward to a good hamburger and coming home. When I left home for the hospital at six am on September 3, 2010 I didn’t know how extensive the surgery was going to be, what the recuperation time was going to be or the prognosis. Now pulling into the driveway at home, I welcomed the dogs as at first they weren’t expecting me and now they were leaning on me and pushing themselves close to me. It was good to be home, and with a wonderful outcome. Two rounds of surgery has taken it’s toll on me and it will be awhile before I am up to full steam, but I am thankful.
Colette arranged for several church members to bring Charles and myself dinners and to simply drop in and say hello.



New diet from August 14, 2010 to ?

My weight on August 10, 2010 was a startling 280 lbs. I had gained 45 lbs. since February of 2010 and I was absolutely stunned. Previous to that I had weighed myself every other day to remain at a stable weight. Not a great weight, but it was constant for the past few years. My environment had much to do with that though as our landlord had turned off our electricity and our financial picture had grown pretty dismal. I stopped stepping on the scale. I ate what the food bank had to offer us. Basically it was high fat, starchy non-nutritive foods that filled you up. Junk foods.

This is the allergen free diet but I couldn’t remember everything on it to avoid. I did eat some things that was on the Do Not Eat list. As of today, August 24, 2010 I am eating only the following foods:

Venison
Veal
Beef trimmed of all fat
Organ meats
Lamb
Goat
Rabbit
Turkey
Chicken
Ground fowl
All fish, particularly cod, salmon, halibut. No shellfish or scavengers. No catfish, sole or flounder.

Pistachio nuts
Macadamia nuts
Cashews
Azuki beans
Black beans
Red beans
Olives

Brown rice
Buckwheat
Couscous
Farina
Wild rice
Quinoa
Sprouted grain bread - Found in a health food’s frozen section. Keep frozen until used.
Cottonseed or chestnut flour

Jicama
Carrot
Rutabaga
Bamboo shoots
String, snap and yellow bean
Celeriac
Ginger
Salsify
Kohlrabi
Chicory
Zucchini
Yellow squash
Cress
Lettuce
Celery
Radicchio
Spinach
Fennel
Swiss chard
Beet greens
Parsley
Turnip greens
Seaweed

Grapes
All Berries
Grapefruit
Strawberries
Nectarines
Cranberries
Clementine oranges
Kiwi
Lemon
Lime

Clam juice
Cranberry juice
Lemon juice
Lime juice
Grapefruit juice
Pineapple juice

All herbal teas especially:
Lemon Balm
Fennel
Burdock
Ginger
Cinnamon
Juniper Berry
Hibiscus & Rose Hips

Unlike most diets, I’m not going to portion, weigh, divide, count or let anyone tell me how much to eat of what. Instead of going to Golden Corral and spending $12 I’ll go to the grocery store and buy better quality of meat/chicken and use spices and herbs to enhance the flavor of a meal. I drool over the boneless, skinned chicken breasts and can think of many wonderful meals I can do with a ten dollar package.

Broccoli and cabbage is listed in this elimination diet, but I am going to include these vegetables and make a delicious vegetable beef soup once a week in the crock pot. I think the variety will help. I’m sure that my creativity will kick in and I’ll discover my own recipes. I do miss tomatoes, onions  and peppers and will probably sneak them in in small portions. The worst culprit I believe is the wheat, egg and fatty shellfish and probably the dairy products. I plan to ask a nutritionist what they think of goat’s milk products as they are believed to be allergen free. Especially if I eat goat’s milk dairy products only seasonally and sparingly.

Macrobiotic Diet in a nutshell
Excerpted from Wikipedia

The earliest recorded use of the term macrobiotics is found in the writing of Hippocrates, the father of Western Medicine. In his essay "Airs, Waters, and Places," Hippocrates introduced the word to describe people who were healthy and long-lived. Herodotus, Aristotle, Galen, and other classical writers used the term macrobiotics to describe a lifestyle, including a simple balanced diet, that promoted health and longevity.[3]

Christoph Wilhelm Hufeland
Main article: Christoph Wilhelm Hufeland
Hufeland, a German physician, in his book Makrobiotik, The Art of Prolonging Life (1797), first used the word "macrobiotics" in the context of food and health. Hufeland was an influential doctor who was active in medical research and became a medical professor at Jena and, later, the first dean of medicine at the University of Berlin. He lived in the Age of Reason and, despite the title of his book, also considered macrobiotics a science aimed at prolonging and perfecting life. According to Hufeland, macrobiotics is a medical philosophy that is on a higher level than the curative, preventative, or health levels of medicine. "The medical art must consider every disease as an evil which cannot be too soon expelled; the macrobiotic, on the other hand, shows that many diseases may be the means of prolonging life."


First edition of Makrobiotik, 1797

In his book, Hufeland refers to a life force that he claimed is present in everything and most easily detected in "organic beings" (live organisms), where it manifests in its response to external stimuli. This force can be weakened, as well as strengthened, through external influences. He believed that our life force would be depleted through physical exertion and increased with rest. Hufeland proposed that moral and physical health are intertwined and flow from the same source, both marked by an abundance of life force. In his view, illness was to be prevented primarily by pursuing a proper diet and lifestyle. In terms of using the word "macrobiotics" in relation to health, food, and energy or life force, Hufeland could be considered the founder of macrobiotics. George Ohsawa's student Tomio Kikuchi, in a London talk, confirmed that George Ohsawa read Hufeland's work and adopted his use of the word macrobiotic.[4]

Sagen Ishizuka
In the late 1800s, Japanese military doctor Sagen Ishizuka, the founding father of shokuiku, had great success in helping people recover from their serious health problems. He carried out many clinical trials and published two large volumes of his works. His theory was that a natural diet, in which foods are eaten in season and attention is paid to the correct balance of potassium and sodium and acid and alkaline, leads to good health.[5]

George Ohsawa
Main article: George Ohsawa
George Ohsawa recovered from tuberculosis of the lung and colon in 1911 using a diet recommended by Dr. Sagen Ishizuka. Ohsawa was so grateful for his new lease on life that he dedicated the rest of his life to continuing Dr. Ishizuka's work. He used the word "macrobiotic," joining the Greek words macro, meaning great, and bios, meaning life, as found in his reading of Hufeland's work. His intention was to create a diet and philosophy to help people live life to the fullest. Ohsawa was inspired to formalize macrobiotics by the teachings of Kaibara Ekiken, Andou Shōeki, and Mizuno Namboku as well as those of Sagen Ishizuka and his disciples Nishibata Manabu and Shojiro Goto.
According to macrobiotic proponents, many of the long-lived traditional cultures, such as the Incas and the Chinese in the Han Dynasty, used the macrobiotic methodology. Ohsawa drew from Asian and Japanese folk medicine to create his version of this philosophy of health.
"Whole foods, such as brown rice, are central to a macrobiotic diet, and many of the first customers and owners of the alternative food stores were students of macrobiotics. In the 20th century, influential teachers emerged, such as the Kushis (who emigrated to the United States from Japan after World War II), who distilled the wide-ranging ideas and interpreted them for modern, urban, and industrialized life."[6]
Lima Ohsawa was George Ohsawa's wife; she taught numerous macrobiotic cooking classes, wrote a macrobiotic cookbook called The Art of Just Cooking, and was sought after for her palm healing, as described in Practical Guide to Far Eastern Macrobiotic Medicine.

Philosophy
Followers of the macrobiotic approach believe that food and food quality powerfully affect health, well-being, and happiness, and that a macrobiotic diet has more beneficial effects than others. The macrobiotic approach suggests choosing food that is less processed.
One goal of macrobiotics is to become sensitive to the actual effects of foods on health and well-being, rather than to follow dietary rules and regulations. Dietary guidelines, however, help in developing sensitivity and an intuitive sense for what sustains health and well-being.[7]
Macrobiotics emphasizes locally grown whole grain cereals, pulses (legumes), vegetables, seaweed, fermented soy products and fruit, combined into meals according to the principle of balance (known as yin and yang). Whole grains and whole-grain products such as brown rice and buckwheat pasta (soba), a variety of cooked and raw vegetables, beans and bean products, mild natural seasonings, fish, nuts and seeds, mild (non-stimulating) beverages such as bancha twig tea and fruit are recommended.[8]
Important macrobiotic theorists, including George Ohsawa and Michio Kushi, stress the fact that yin and yang are relative qualities that can only be determined in a comparison. All food is considered to have both properties, with one dominating. Foods with yang qualities are considered compact, dense, heavy, hot, whereas those with yin qualities are considered expansive, light, cold, and dark.[9] However, these terms are relative; "yangness" or "yingness" is only discussed in relation to other foods. [10]
Brown rice and other whole grains such as barley, millet, oats, quinoa, spelt, rye, and teff are considered by macrobiotics to be the foods in which yin and yang are closest to being in balance. Therefore, lists of macrobiotic foods that determine a food as yin or yang generally compare them to whole grains.[11] However, it should be noted that the yingness or yangness of something appears to be more of a religious concept and not quantifiable beyond the grosser notions of more/less, a little/a lot.

Nightshade vegetables, including tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, eggplant; also spinach, beets and avocados are not recommended or used sparingly in macrobiotic cooking, as they are considered extremely yin.[12] Some macrobiotic practitioners also discourage the use of nightshades because of the alkaloid solanine, thought to affect calcium balance.[13]

Composition


Some basic macrobiotic ingredients

Macrobiotics is considered an approach to life rather than a diet. Some general guidelines for the diet are the following (it is also said that a macrobiotic diet varies greatly, depending on geographical and life circumstances):[14]

Well chewed whole cereal grains, especially brown rice: 40–60%
Vegetables: 25–30%
Beans and legumes: 5–10%
Miso soup: 5%
Sea vegetables: 5%
Traditionally or naturally processed foods: 5–10%
Fish and seafood, seeds and nuts, seed and nut butters, seasonings, sweeteners, fruits, and beverages may be enjoyed occasionally, 2-3 times per week. Other naturally raised animal products may be included if needed during dietary transition or according to individual needs.

Cooking according to the time of the year
In spring:
Food with a lighter quality
Wild plants, germs, lightly fermented food, grain species, fresh greens
Light cooking style: steaming, cooking for a short time, etc.
In summer:
Food with a lighter quality
Large-leaved greens, sweet corn, fruit, summer pumpkins
Light cooking style: steaming, quick cooking, etc.
More raw foods
Lighter grains, such as barley, and bulghur
In autumn:
Food with a more concentrated quality
Root vegetables, (winter) pumpkins, beans, cereals, etc.
Heavier grains such as sweet rice, mochi and millet
In winter:
Food with a stronger, more concentrated quality
Round vegetables, pickles, root vegetables, etc.
More miso, soy sauce, oil, and salt
Heavier grains such as millet, buckwheat, fried rice, etc.

Balanced content of food
Macrobiotic eating follows the principle of balance (called balancing yin and yang in China).
Macrobiotics holds that some foods are overstimulating and can exhaust the body and mind. These are classified as extreme yin (stimulating) in their effects:
Sugar
Alcohol
Honey
Coffee
Chocolate
Refined flour products
Very hot spices
Drugs
Chemicals and preservatives
Commercial milk, yogurt and soft cheeses
Poor quality vegetable oils
Foods that are considered to be concentrated, heavy and dense create stagnation. These have yang (strengthening, but stagnating effects if over-consumed).
Poultry
Meat
Eggs
Refined salt
Foods that create balance are whole grains, vegetables, beans, sea vegetables, fruit, nuts, and seeds. Foods such as these are used in a macrobiotic way of eating.

Other factors
The composition of dishes and the choices of foods is adjusted according to
the season
the climate
activity
sex
age
health condition
transition in one's diet
and any applicable personal considerations.

Japanese popularity and influence
The macrobiotic way of eating is thought by some to be Japanese. During the Edo period in Japan peasants were not allowed to eat meat and had a diet of primarily rice and soy beans to get their protein. According to macrobiotic advocates, a majority of the world population in the past ate a diet based primarily on grains, vegetables, and other plants. Because macrobiotics is popular in Japan, and many of its popular teachers are Japanese, Japanese foods that are beneficial for health are incorporated by most modern macrobiotic eaters. Some macrobiotic ingredients are also standard ingredients in Japanese cuisine. [1], [2]
There is also a form of macrobiotics called the Ch'ang Ming or Long Life diet which is very similar to the Japanese system which although it is said to be based upon the principles of Traditional Chinese Medicine bears no real resemblance to any traditional Chinese dietary system.

Chinese macrobiotics
According to Chee Soo in The Tao of Long Life,[15] natural dietary therapy, or ch'ang ming, has been developed in China since prehistoric times, along with a range of health arts that have become what we now know as traditional Chinese medicine, or TCM. Other than this, however, there is no real evidence that ch'ang ming predates the advent of macrobiotics in Japan.

Macrobiotics vs. vegetarianism
A macrobiotic diet includes many of the same foods as vegetarian diets, but in macrobiotics some types of fish are accepted for occasional use. The two dietary styles share enough similarities that a vegetarian and even vegan version of macrobiotics is not uncommon.
Macrobiotics is based on traditional ways of eating . While there are no completely vegan cultures among them, the longest-lived cultures around the world consume between 70% and 99% whole plant foods, according to John Robbins, a well-known vegan advocate, in Healthy at 100. The American Dietetic Association approves of carefully planned vegan diets. In the words of the Association, "Well-planned vegan and other types of vegetarian diets are appropriate for all stages of the life cycle, including during pregnancy, lactation, infancy, childhood, and adolescence.... It is the position of the American Dietetic Association and Dietitians of Canada that appropriately planned vegetarian diets are healthful, nutritionally adequate, and provide health benefits in the prevention and treatment of certain diseases."[16] However, as part of their dietary guidelines, the association did not opine against meat consumption, recommending that healthy adults eat lean meat, poultry, fish or beans each day, as lean meat has many essential nutrients without excess fat or cholesterol.[17]
On the other hand, according to the USDA's discussion of its current food pyramid, "Dry beans and peas are part of this [meat and beans] group as well as the vegetable group. ... Fish, nuts, and seeds contain healthy oils, so choose these foods frequently instead of meat or poultry."[18] Under the heading "Why is it important to include fish, nuts, and seeds?" they say, "Many people do not make varied choices from this food group, selecting meat or poultry everyday as their main dishes."[19]

Macrobiotics and cancer
Macrobiotics has long been advocated by some as a preventative and cure for cancer. Michio Kushi's book "The Cancer Prevention Diet" outlines the fundamental philosophy for the diet and cancer prevention. There is evidence that a diet high in whole grains and vegetables and possibly low in saturated fat, red meat, and preserved meat products can help to prevent many types of cancer.[20] A study at the Tulane School of Public Health conducted by James P. Carter and others[21] reported significant improvement in cancer patient longevity (177 months compared to 91 months) when patients practiced the macrobiotic diet, although an analysis[22] stated about this paper, "Scientific evidence on the potential benefits of macrobiotic diets for patients with cancer is limited to two retrospective studies with serious methodologic flaws."
Despite anecdotal reports to the contrary reported in Unconventional Cancer Treatments[23], medical professionals do not consider that there is evidence that a macrobiotic diet is useful as a cure for cancer.

The American Cancer Society strongly urges people with cancer not to use a dietary program as an exclusive or primary means of treatment, and many long-term practitioners of the diet, including Michio Kushi's wife, Aveline, and daughter Lilly, died of cancer. Michio Kushi himself developed cancer and in 2004 had a tumor removed surgically from his intestines.

Roel Van Duijn reported in the Dutch national newspaper Trouw on September 5, 1998, and later in the quarterly Skepter of the Dutch organization Skepsis that following advice of a macrobiotic counselor over conventional medical treatments resulted in the death of his wife[24]. On March 20, 2002, the Dutch parliament voted in favor of a "Kushi law" proposed by the government. This law will permit that the practice of an alternative healer is closed down immediately on suspicion of a threat to people's health. It will not be necessary any more to wait until a conviction in court is obtained.[25]

Criticisms
Nutrition
Detailed information on the nutrients provided by a large range of foodstuffs is available in the USDA National Nutrient Database.[26]
The following nutrients should be monitored especially in children, because of their importance in facilitating growth and function: calcium, protein, iron, zinc, vitamin D, vitamin B12, riboflavin, vitamin A, omega-3 fatty acids.[27] All are available in properly planned macrobiotic diets.
Humans synthesize vitamin D with adequate exposure to sunlight; supplementation may be necessary during winter months for people who live far from the equator. Calcium is available from hard leafy greens, nuts and seeds. Zinc is available from nuts and seeds. Fish provides vitamin B12 in a macrobiotic diet,[28] as bioavailable B12 analogues have not been established in any natural plant food, including sea vegetables, soya, fermented products, and algae.[29] Although plant-derived foods do not naturally contain B12, some are fortified during processing with added B12 and other nutrients.[30] Vitamin A, in the form of beta-carotene, is abundant in macrobiotic diets.[31] Adequate protein is available from grains, nuts, seeds, beans, and bean products. Sources of Omega-3 fatty acids include soy products, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, flax seeds and fatty fish. Riboflavin along with most other B vitamins are abundant in whole grains. Iron in the form of non-heme iron (heme iron is founding beef) in beans, sea vegetables and leafy greens is sufficient for good health; detailed information is in the USDA database.[32]
In 1971, the AMA Council on Foods and Nutrition said that followers of the macrobiotic diet, particularly the strictest, stood in "great danger" of malnutrition.[33] On the other hand, in 1987, the AMA stated in their Family Medical Guide: "In general, the macrobiotic diet is a healthful way of eating."[34]

Tobacco
Michio Kushi and George Ohsawa smoked cigarettes. Kushi states that lung cancer can arise from dairy food in the diet: "In combination with tobacco, dairy food can trap tars and other ingredients of tobacco smoke in the lungs, leading often to lung cancer."[35] This is contrary to medical understanding of the connection between lung cancer and smoking.[36]

Cookbooks and resources
Books
Aihara, Herman. Basic Macrobiotics. Japan Publications, 1985.
Brown, Simon. "Modern Day Macrobiotics" Carroll & Brown / North Atlantic 2005. A complete illustrated introduction to macrobiotic foods, menu plans and recipes. Includes suggestions on cravings, quick meals, eating out and short cuts.
Brown, Simon. "Macrobiotics For Life" North Atlantic 2009. Explores the macrobiotic philosophy and focuses on healing the body, mind and emotions. Includes recipes with color photographs and practical advice on bringing up children and cravings. Includes contributions from many of the leading teachers from the current macrobiotic community.
Brown, Virginia, with Susan Stayman. Macrobiotic Miracle: How a Vermont Family Overcame Cancer. Japan Publications, 1984.
Esko, Wendy. Introducing Macrobiotic Cooking Japan Publications, 1987. A standard introductory cookbook.
Kushi, Michio. Your Body Never Lies: The Complete Book of Oriental Diagnosis. Square One, 2006. A comprehensive introduction to Oriental visual diagnosis.
Kushi, Michio. Your Face Never Lies. Avery Trade, 1983. Introduction to Oriental facial diagnosis; shorter and in some ways clearer than the book on body diagnosis but covering only the face, skin, hands, and voice.
Kushi, Michio, and Alex Jack. The Macrobiotic Path to Total Health: A Complete Guide to Preventing and Relieving More Than 200 Chronic Conditions and Disorders Naturally. Ballantine Books, 2003. For each category of illness, the authors outline the conventional medical treatment, provide references to medical studies, and then discuss the macrobiotic approach.
Kushi, Michio, with Alex Jack. The Book of Macrobiotics: The Universal Way of Health, Happiness, and Peace. Japan Publications, 1994. A treatise on macrobiotics; illuminating, but not light reading.
Nussbaum, Elaine. Recovery from Cancer: The Remarkable Story of One Woman's Struggle With Cancer and What She Did to Beat the Odds. Square One, 2003.
Porter, Jessica. The Hip Chick's Guide to Macrobiotics: A Philosophy for Achieving a Radiant Mind and a Fabulous Body. Avery Trade, 2004.
Waxman, Melanie. "Eat Me Now" Macrobiotic recipes for students and single people.
Sattilaro, Anthony, M.D., with Tom Monte. Recalled by Life: The Story of My Recovery from Cancer. Houghton Mifflin, 1982. An excellent general discussion of macrobiotics as related in a doctor’s personal experience of healing.
Soo, Chee. The Tao of Long Life. Seahorse Books, 2008. The Tao of Long Life Sample pages on Chinese Macrobiotics to read online.
Turner, Kristina. The Self-Healing Cookbook: Whole Foods to Balance Body, Mind and Moods. Earthtones Press, 2002. A warm, user-friendly, best-selling volume.

January 2012
No More Mr. Potato Head, Please...

I am about to embark on a journey which if I keep the momentum, will not only change my life, but will put it back on track to being the life I was made to live. I am about to lose 100 lbs. I'm relatively healthy, more aerobically fit than most people who are 100 lbs. overweight because I am the sole caretaker of fifty plus farm animals. Not only do I have physical reasons to lose this weight, but mental and emotional ones as well. I didn't gain weight because I have a thyroid condition, or a bad back. I gained this weight because I found a much needed friend in food. Food is still my best friend, in fact now my best friend forever because I am going to discover different foods that still give me emotional satisfaction, yet are kinder to my body and heart.



So I did a lot of research to decide which diet I can live with to lose 100 lbs. Yep. Thirty pounds I can do pretty easily. Fifty pounds might be a little rough going, and I have not been able to break the 200 lb. barrier for over a decade. I also thought about the health benefits…obviously lower blood pressure, a diet that will ward off any further cancerous issues, especially colon, liver, stomach, pancreas. Lessens the chance of heart disease. Lessens the chance of diabetes. No back pains in the future, little chance of hip replacement or knee replacement, and I like how I feel when I can get all this excess poundage off of me. It's like unloading those two fifty pound dog food bags and leaving them far behind. Maybe I'll get that breast reconstruction and not be lopsided anymore. Maybe I'll like myself again. I think so. Okay, diet. Here we go.


January 14, 2012
Day One
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner:  Cabbage-celery soup. I cut up a whole cabbage head and a bunch of celery, added water to cover, about two Tb. of No-Salt salt replacement, 1 T of garlic powder, 1 T of onion powder, caraway seeds and a half a large chicken bullion cube.
Drinks:  Constant Comfort tea and a quart of water.
Total calories for day 80.


January 15, 2012
Day Two
Breakfast & Lunch:  Cabbage-celery soup
Dinner:  Mixed iceberg lettuce with red cabbage and a few carrot slivers with balsamic vinegar.
Drink:  I drank water and 1 quart of unsweetened peach tea, cold. I had soup all during the day, and made more for the next day.
Total calories for day 160.


January 16, 2012
Day Three
Breakfast: Cabbage-celery soup, a small orange, iceberg lettuce salad with one 6 oz. can of tuna (always packed in water).
Lunch: Iceberg lettuce salad with a four ounce grilled chicken breast.
Dinner: Cabbage-celery soup, and salad with balsamic vinegar.
Total calories for day 478. Whoa! I need to cut back! LOL!! Call Overeaters Anonymous!


January 17, 2012
Day Four
Breakfast: Cabbage-celery soup
Lunch: Cabbage-celery soup, ½ small gala apple with cinnamon sprinkled on it, one six ounce can of tuna, iceberg salad with balsamic vinegar, 3 ounces of Krab with lemon and ½ of a steamed zucchini with 1 T of basil pesto without cheese or pinenuts.
Dinner: Cabbage soup, iceberg salad with balsamic vinegar.
Total calories for day 287.


Six days left of this induction phase to get the pounds off.
In between meals I'm having Constant Comment or Diet peach tea, water or nibbling on a cabbage leaf. Yes, I'm hungry in the middle of the night and what do you think I do? More cabbage-celery soup!!
Next few days will be more cabbage-celery soup. I ran out of cabbage and celery and have to have Charles get some for me tonight on his way home.



January 25, 2012
So this is Day uhhhhh...ELEVEN!
Pretty much same food for the last six days. My clothes are hanging on me differently, I haven't been taking my regular aspirin dose like candy, and I have a generally better outlook because I have control over some aspect of my future. Charles is terribly supportive, making sure that I have cabbage, celery and Krab or chicken breasts readily available. I have been faithful to the diet, have not cheated one bit and am increasing my celery consumption. I have found a new way to continue my love for food, and it is through more herbs and spices, more showcasing vegetables and remembering to use meats as a seasoning. I still dream of barbecued pork or beef and my to-die-for deep fried battered chicken breasts. And I fantasize about certain chinese buffets and Golden Corral. Those places and foods are not never never land, but saved for special occasions or those once evey three month celebrations.

I've made it this far, and I know I can make it to six months. I've done it before and I have the fabulous clothes to prove it. And I know that I may well fail in a year or two, but that's OK. No more beating myself up and shutting out the world because of my depression due to food addiction. I am trying to believe that I am loved and wanted by someone other than four legged critters. It still feels very foreign to claim self love and forgivness. I equate that to being selfish, and I abhorr selfish, self-centered people. But maybe what I really dislike is when people USE themselves for OTHERS to complement because of their own lack of self esteem. Not going to worry about that, going to just worry about myself and my health. And Friday is payday and I'm buying a scale!

January 30, 2012
I have completed TWO WEEKS!!!
Well, payday came and went and I decided not to buy a scale yet. My clothes are hanging on me much looser and my outlook is good. Charles and I went on an hour hike along our trail in the woods and took three dogs with us. They didn't stay close but found their shortcuts and had a great time. I usually don't follow the whole trail and turn back 1/4 of the way, but yesterday I decided to go the whole trail and it was a lot of fun. I'm still just eating cabbage-celery soup, very green salad and about 5-7 oz. of meat or fish a day. My favorite ring does not fit yet, but I'll ge there. My mobility is better and I even ran a little yesterday which is something I haven't done in a while. I'm not taking aspirin anymore except when I really really need it, so my blood pressure MUST be good! I know I've lost a lot of water in my system and maybe even correct any damage done to any vital organs. I don't want to go thru the agony of cancer surgeries anymore and that's the fire that's chasing me. I still take full care of all the animals, morning feeding at 7:30 am and evening between 4:30 and five pm. Doing it in less time too.

February 8, 2012
Last Saturday, Charles had most of the day off and we decided to go to an agriculture/farm supply store in Petersburg to get a few items. In preparation, I had three 8 oz. bowls of cabbage soup, a very green salad and some tuna. This was at five am. I figured we'd return home and I could resume my salad and soup. The store opened at 7:30 so we stopped by his work so he could finish some paperwork. I had an extra large coffee with Splenda, and a bottle of water while I waited. We then went up to the ag store, perused the aisles, made our purchase and left. charles asked if I wanted to go to a few favorite thrift stores and I jumped on the opportunity to search for a few books, which is a passion we both share. After two thrift store stops, I was running out of steam and yet I wanted to go to Michael's craft store and Petsmart. I dragged myself through the two stores half-heartedly as I was famished. We finished shopping and I said to Charles that I have got to get something to eat as I was feeling faint. He suggested that I make this day my reward day as he was hungry too and we decided to goto Golden Corral as they had many vegetable choices and while I was blowing the calories, I could make healthy choices, so in we went.

I first tackled the salad bar and had a big plate of field greens, celery and just vinegar for dressing. Nothing with any sauces or binders. I then had cauliflower both raw and steamed, broccoli, italian green beans, boiled cabbage, brussels sprouts, baked fish with some salsa, baked chicken breast and a small portion of steak. That's it! I never ate bread or desserts, or potatoes anyway, so I don't miss them. I did however return for more fish as I am a fish addict...I lingered over the onion rings, but resisted. Charles congratulated me for my choices, we ate and left. later at home, I had a bowl of cabbage soup. Over the weekend, my weight didn't increase, but I didn't lose anymore either. As an added bonus, on Friday I wore a pair of jeans I had not been able to get into for over a year. They are a little snug, but not tight. I was glad!

On Monday, I weighed 1.4 pounds less. Cabbage soup, very green salad, shredded broccoli salad, 4 oz. of chicken for whole day. I also bought a Cuisinart coffee maker and made delicious brewed San Francisco Fog Lifter coffee. I had 45 calories worth of creamer and Splenda.

On Tuesday, I weighed 1.8 pounds less. I was hungry and had more than my usual helpings of cabbage soup, and had 8 oz. of chicken (two different 4 oz. portions) with steamed greens, like a wrap without the tortilla. Enjoyed coffee during the day, and measured the same amount of creamer and Splenda.

Today is Wednesday and I weighed 1.3 pounds less than the previous day. Total weight loss is approaching 30 lbs. since the beginning on January 18th. Those previously tight jeans are more comfortable! I had quite a bit of cabbage soup again, two very green salads one with 5 oz. of imitation crab. Dinner will consist of kale, parsley, Bok Choy and garlic with maybe tuna for variety. Have not drank enough water the last few days though, but sure am enjoying the coffee iced during the day!

I am coming up with some very innovative recipes with limited ingredients. The ONLY veggies I am eating is field green mix, iceberg lettuce, romaine lettuce, kale, cabbage, bok choy, parsley, cilantro, mustard greens, turnip greens, turnips, cauliflower, broccoli, fresh basil, garlic, mushroom and celery. In very measured amounts I am having red onion on occasion. I bought a bag of sweet peppers that are six for 40 calories. I have stuffed poblano peppers. For seasoning, I use garlic powder, minced garlic, chili powder, paprika, No Salt, pepper, Garam Masala, turmeric, sage, dill, celery seed, basil, mustard (spicy brown), vinegar, sparing amounts of canola oil, lime juice and lemon juice. I have a tablespoon of plain yogurt with flax seeds on it every morning. I had half a ruby grapefruit on my salad the other day and it was heaven! I buy the flavored waters at WalMart, especially love the coconut-pineapple one! I take a half a chicken breast, fresh, and slice it into thirds. My other meats can be fresh fish, canned fish, imitation crab, a four ounce hamburger patty well done, or Buddig's deli meats 90 calories a package. I can make a cupcake shaped meat loaf that is made with ground turkey and veggies! I also consider avocado to be in the meat group.

So I have lots of variety in my diet. Later on I can add a slice of homemade pumpernickel bread or 1/4 cup of steamed barley, but not yet. I can grind oats and use that as a crunchy option on meat patties. I can stuff a tomato with fish and grill it! And once a month, I will have a guilt-free eating day available to me.

Thursday February 9, 2012
Last night was not a good one. Charles worked a different shift and came home at a little after 9 pm. I was in bed reading and the house was quiet. Charles left two of the dogs out of the bedroom, that always sleep under the covers. the littlest one was very distraught over being shut out, and I asked him to please let her in. Charles said he would when he got up to have a cigarette. In an hour that felt like eternity, I again asked him to please let her in and he again said he would later on. Beretta was pleading to be let in and I could not take upsetting her anymore, so I let the two dogs in and they lay on their blankets. Charles then got up and had his cigarette in the bathroom, and brought an armful of beers and sat them down on his nightstand. He had some kind of an unkind statement for me, and I ignored him somehow and pulled the blanket over my head and over Beretta, went to sleep and was later awakened by his alarm and subsequent snooze alarms that usually go on for another hour until he gets up at 3:30 am. he finally got up and I reminded him to take the grain out of the car. He said he wasn't stupid, got dressed and left for work. I did hear him unloaad the grain before he left.

I got out of bed just before sunrise and let the bedroom dogs out to pee. I checked on the goats and noticed signs that one was miscarrying, so I got a towel and went on a hunt for newborns. I found them and they were a month early so there was no chance for survival. They were the size of Chihuahuas; each a perfectly formed male and female kid. I then went back inside and had some cabbage-celery soup before checking the nights' e-mails and Facebook status updates. One was quite nasty so I deleted it and blocked her. I had sold her a very beautiful horse in 2008 for a very good price because she seemed like a perfect fit for this filly. She was a frustrated event competitor and was looking for an upgrade. My 17.2hh grey Thoroughbresd filly was an outstanding prospect and I reluctantly sold her. Recently, I friended this woman on Facebook to catch up on this filly, and I found no mention of her at all. In fact, I was dismayed to read that she had had several other horses during the past two years, all who had died or become disabled. naturally, I was concerned for Spook so I posted "...So what happened to the beautiful filly I had sold you?" I had known she had wrongly trained her (too much too fast) and had hired a very bad farrier who had made her lame at one point. So I posted on Facebook that I regret finding out about horses I had sold and vowed to never sell another horse or dog again (as I cannot handle bad news about a horse), or something to that effect. I never mentioned names. I had sold four horses at that time, and not one of them had a happy ending. This last bit of information threw me over the edge.

The woman sent me another very insulting response which had untruthful allegations, I realize she was being defensive as she had been caught red handed in neglect. She claimed that the filly had severe navicular disease, had been retired and then had cancer throughout her entire body so she was euthanized. A second more strongly worded e-mail made suggestions that I was somehow to blame and increased the amount of horses I had owned way out of proportion, obviously to make her more correct in her own mind. Naturally, I was wanting to fight back, but decided to block her off Facebook and try to get myself back on track.

I then very carefully began rebuilding my thought process. I had responsibilities here and could not let this affect me. I wanted to have some real food very badly at that instant and fought off temptation. I had two bowls of cabbage soup and then some Fog Lifter coffee. I was engaged in a battle with myself and my wills. I felt myself sinking and becoming despondent. I wanted a hamburger from Sonic. Charles called and told me that he'll be getting only 75% of his quarterly bonus this time because he was 0.02% below "their" numbers, even though he is up 47% in sales and net profit overall. I told him about the does' miscarriage, he pretty much dissed it. Later on he called and apologized for my bad morning. He never wants details of my life but expects me to comiserate details of his.

So now the day has trudged by, I got though the perils of the morning and am back on track. The doe is better, the animals are all fine. Charles is well, and I didn't cheat with food for an emotional reason. I feel that a journey with weight loss is not just about the food. Its also about how I am dealing with the pressures that got me here in the first place. It's not even noon, and I have the rest of the day to enjoy.
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Monday February 13, 2012
Day 26 of Diet!!

So! Here I am, it's Monday February 13th and approaching a full month on this diet. I knew I shouldn't have bought the scale. I've already threatened to kill it...or maybe it's defective. Or haunted. But something is definitely wrong with it. (See how I didn't say wrong with me?) On Saturday, Charles and I were having a great discussion about kale (!!!) and he said he can definitely tell the diet is working. Now whether he is lying or not, I don't know, but bless him for being an encouraging male. So Sunday morning he says to me "Get on the scale and let's see where you're at." I said no, I ONLY weigh myself at 5 am. Period. He says so what did you weigh this morning? I said 261.2 pounds. I chortle about how I'm losing up to a pound a day lately. Actually, the weight has been stalled at 260-262 for the past few days. He says get on the scale. I comply. The frickin' scale weighed me in at 265.6 pounds!!!! Charles and I just stared at each other expressionless, and then he went on to talking about work. I said wait a minute...somethings wrong. He jumps on the two faced scale and he weighs in at 190.2 pounds. I said its not fair. He can eat pizza, mayo, cheese, even chocolate frosting right out of the can and the scale stays the same. I feel down, mad, sad, furious, envious, jealous all at once. So what if he's twenty five years younger than me and has slender genetics. So I drink a glass of water and stare out the window wondering if I'll ever get into those tiny little riding breeches and continue my riding. My eyes get a little misty, feeling defeat and frustration. Then I start thinking, what in Hell am I doing at my age trying to be all stunning and light on my feet again...and then Charles began.

"You know, that dressage trainer who was short listed for the Olympics...Susan Peacock, and what about Lendon Grey. THEY are big girls and are confident about their riding." Charles remarks. Oh wonderful. Let's compare star atheletes with me. I do know them personally, and they are women who could care less what other people think of them. I. Care.

"Yes, but I look at them and am not impressed. It's impossible to be overweight and become one with their horse, and besides they ride fat horses to complement their gigantic behinds!" I said. "I want to be atleast where I was ten years ago. Or even two years ago."

I know what it's like to feel trim and sexy. I don't feel that way. I feel dense. Not fat, just not how I need to feel. I will feel that way at 220 pounds and then be active enough to slip another 20 pounds off. It's the "below 200 pounds" that will be the most difficult and I realize that. And also I want to be healthy and not have that sick pallor I see on some overweight people. I am an excellent equestrienne with a lot of talent and skills. I have paid tens of thousands to get me where I finally wanted to be with my horses and now I'm just a big waste! Or is it waist...

I am still basically eating the same foods as I have been and not increasing the quantities of meat, fish or chicken. I have limited myself to 4-6 oz. of animal protein a day and have stayed in that fairly well. The jury is still out on avocado being counted as a protein, fat or vegetable even though it is a fruit. I've also had two ruby grapefruits on seperate days. Still not weighing portions, but am pretty close in guesstimations. I've added napa cabbage and large chile peppers such as the delicious Poblamo chile, and 1 oz. of cheese on rare occasions. Also have had two eggs, on separate days this past week, microwaved in a bowl with no oil.

One item I may see as the culprit is red wine. It is a good alcohol, but I think as it has done in the past, it is a reason why the weight loss suddenly stalls. It is a sugar. So I'm gonna try something different and limit my wine intake and change my alcohol of choice to a clear one such as vodka, tequila or 100 proof moonshine, straight. It'll take less to get the desired effect. This change of regimen will begin tonight. I drink about 16 oz. of red wine nightly. It will change to harder liquor and limit to about 8 oz. a night. I had to do this on the Atkins Diet and it made a difference.

Some accounts will identify me as heading towards anorexia or some sort of eating disorder label. I was already chastised on a forum for promoting anorexia by describing low calorie meals. I find that ridiculous. I don't have a problem with food or eating. I just want to be trimmer and wear a 10 or 12 again. I also want to be lighter before I have breast reconstruction because they will definitely make a mess out of things and give me a fat persons breast. I will then become so depressed I may never recover. Having only one breast is better than having a wreck of a chest. Some days I sleep with layers of baggy clothes on. I definitely have body awareness issues. I am positively horrified with my scar. That is another whole issue.

So I believe I will make my 30 Day Goal of losing 30 pounds. Even with the evil, wicked scale who is deceiving me lately, I have five days in which to stabilize and hopefully drop another five pounds. Then onward to the next thirty pounds that will be leaving by April 18 when my goal is to reach 230 pounds. Final goal is in two stages...210 pounds by May 30, 2012 and 195 by the Fourth of July. Stay tuned!
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Saturday February 18, 2012
30 Days

The Magic Moment has arrived...thirty days. The morning began with cramps in both thighs and a feeling that I was melting away. Forcefully manipulating my legs to the floor, navigating through a Standard Poodle on the bed who at 3 am does.not.move, and a Belgian Malinois on the floor beside me, and a way too happy Miniature Pinscer, I jumped around like a jumping jack cursing the pain in my thigh. A few minutes later of thrashing about and I was sound enough to put on my rubber boots sans socks, make it to the bathroom, as I let myself out to pee before the dogs. Returning to the bedroom to leash up the Malinois, we then did our duty and turn on the space heater in the kitchen. I then took off my boots and stepped on the scale. It read 256.4 pounds. five pounds less than Monday, in five days. I've been consuming the same items, except I've made a few pots of Oxtail soup which I've become nearly addicted to, and spinach wraps without any bready wrap. I use cabbage! That bottle of 100 proof corn liquor lasted me about a week, but I definitely need to increase the water intake. It's nearly zero. And I'm drinking a pot of coffee with Splenda and extra creamy creamer a day.

I have a confession to make.

The last time I officially stepped on a scale before embarking on this change in my life was at the Massey Cancer Center in Richmond for my post operative check-up in August 2011. My weight was 278. A few jokes were made about my blood pressure. I vowed to detach myself from these numbers, but it threw me into a depressed state. I was fear motivated. My husband was in an uncomfortable "place" at work where many women were pursuing him because he had told them about my 'illness' and they were hoping I was soon on my deathbed. I knew that. He became estranged, drank heavier than usual, became detached from me and home, and threw himself into work often working 100 hours a week. He also declared celebacy and slept in his clothes and refused to talk to me. That was how he copes. I was left alone, neglected and virtually stranded. Our church forsaked us, my friends stayed away and our home was severely suffering. My horses stressed and became quite thin because I had no help in caring for them. I am certain my weight ballooned to close to 290 because my clothes told the truth. The physical fights between my husband and I increased with severity. One of us had to change. So I did. And I still am. And I am not allowing anyone to control me or my life just because I was weak and not able to control my life. And yet I still am filled with love and compassion for those who don't care for me...go figure. We still sleep clinging on opposing edges of the bed, but I think we aren't going to kill each other. He's confessed the stress he is under at work with so many local women pressuring him to 'come over and visit sometime', and up to five phone numbers slipped into his hand daily. He has to deal with his own demons and not by abusing me or drinking from the minute he enters the door after work or by spending his days off being intoxicated and emotionally vacant to me. I'm busy dealing with my own demons.

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March 18, 2012
2nd month Anniversary today

It's been a difficult month is some ways, and easier in others. I've slipped off the diet wagon a few times because of one reason or another but I have not gained any of the weight I've lost. Today, officially my weight was 252.2 pounds, which means only a loss of two pounds in the last month, but my clothes tell a story of weight loss as some literally are hanging off me. I must admit that the first month was probably more of a starvation thing because I ws so anxious to lose the weight, but then the skin was also getting a little saggy and I decided to slow down and let the skin catch up. Right now, I am having my concentration being interrupted by a dog I took in to rehab, wondering if I have dealt with my daughter so severely with an e-mail that I will never hear from her again, and the need to get some things done around here before the weather changes and Charles takes advantage of the situation by popping some beers, which annoys the heck outta me, among some other things (I'm gonna KILL a dog...). I'd better get to the items on the list before I become internally agitated. I'll write tomorrow.

March 20, 2012
I don't know why I stepped on the scale this morning...habit? But I was pleasantly surprised with the numbers 250.2 so I won't complain! I pondered if my goal for weighing in at 230 on April 18 is realistic. well, I'll give it a shot. I slept fairly well, was not disrupted by anything inside or outside and everything is moving along good. Charles has an interview on Thursday for a much desired employment change, and soon we will be sowing seeds in the garden. I've been doing some major house re-arranging and cleaning. Today I have four loads of laundry to do and some material to rake for the mulch bin. All the dogs are napping so I think I'll sneak in the kitchen and make a pot of coffee. I already had two bowls of cabbage soup and will most likely be having kale and some bacon for lunch today. Brrr...its chilly!!

September 17, 2012
Six months have passed. Somewhere along the way I reached a low weight of 242 lbs and felt great. Then all hell broke loose in my life. Somewhere I made a lot of enemies and I don't know how. Charles and I had two altercations where I felt like I had to call the police. Big mistake for me because the fines he was charged had to come out of my household budget. He made the anticipated job change and is the Man of the Hour at work. He was away for training since May and is now on the top deck of his store, working 14+ hours a day. I, in the meantime dealt with every thing here at the farm, lived through 100+ degree summer heat, accidentally dropped a board on one of my chickens and she died in my arms, and tried to keep everything alive here at the farm - alone. I lost several goats and two alpacas this year. I've had a lot of interesting things to cope with that would be unbelievable for most people to deal with, so I don't even mention the incidents to anyone. So as of this writing my weight is at 267 lbs. I became a pizza-holic over the summer, and have not adhered to the diet. It's the dry salami meats and the cheese...I'm a savory person. I still have no hot water other than boiling it or putting a stock tank heater in water. I repurposed my water caching system, so I have to remake one with the rain gutters and all. My relationship with my daughter and her family is seriously down the tubes. I need a great big eraser and wipe out this whole mess and start anew.











Any possible contributing factors (4 pages)
































My future (4 pages)

































Phyllodes future (2 pages)
January
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August
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October


Kazuaki Takabe, M.D., Ph.D.
Assistant ProfessorSurgery, Surgical OncologyE-mail: ktakabe@mcvh-vcu.edu
Kazuaki Takabe, M.D., Ph.D. is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Surgery. He received his medical degree from Niigata University School of Medicine, Niigata City, Japan. He was awarded the Ph.D. degree in Gastroenterology and Endocrinology from Yokohama City University, Yokohama City, Japan and did post-doctoral training at the University of California, Salk Institute in La Jolla, CA. He completed general surgery training at the University of California, San Diego, CA and a Surgical Oncology fellowship at Virginia Commonwealth University, MCV Campus, Richmond, VA. His BIRCWH research project explores the molecular and cellular mechanisms of the novel lipid mediator, sphingosine-1-phosphate in the regulation of cell growth, motility, prevention of apoptosis, angiogenesis and its role in breast cancer.



Diagnostics 101

Mammograms do not detect breast cysts. They just show dense masses. If the radiologist suspects the mass may have fluid in it, then an ultrasound is performed. If there is fluid in the mass, a needle aspiration of the cyst may be suggested. The rule-of-thumb is that any breast mass needs to be evaluated as a possible malignancy. If the mass is known to be solid, it is surgically excised and sent to pathologic analysis to see if it is a cancer. If it is a cyst, the fluid can be drawn off and, if not bloody, it is a benign cyst and continued observation is the course of action.

Mammograms may also look for calcifications which can be a sign of a benign or malignant microscopic mass that would need to be evaluated. Ultrasound can also pick up micro calcifications in the breast and is actually better at identifying calcifications in invasive and in-situ breast cancer than it is in identifying them in benign fibrocystic conditions.

The basic principle is that any discrete, solid breast mass needs to be biopsied and any suspicious mass effect on mammogram or ultrasound needs to be confirmed as benign. In the case of a cyst, this means aspiration of the cystic fluid. In the case of a suspicious finding on imaging that does not have fluid in it, a core needle aspiration biopsy (withdrawing tissue cells into the needle and syringe rather than fluid) is used to confirm benign changes. 

Breast cysts may occur in up to 20-50% of reproductive age women at sometime in their life. Most cysts are very small but large cysts, macrocysts occur in up to 7% of women. The peak incidence is in premenopausal women aged 40-50. Less than 5% of cysts are in women over 60.

The glands and ducts of the breasts secrete fluid all of the time even though they are not lactating. The amount is so small it is not noticeable on a daily basis but if a duct plugs up with normally sloughed skin cells, the fluid builds up and a cyst is formed. Cysts may be single or multiple. They are not seen as cysts on mammography, just as a dense mass or masses. If the radiologist suspects the mass is a cyst, an ultrasound is performed to see if there is fluid inside the mass. If there is, this is called a breast cyst.

The next step is to determine if the breast cyst has more benign characteristics or could it possibly be malignant. Benign cysts are round or oval, well-circumscribed and usually greater than 1.4 cm in size; malignant characteristics include irregular shape, micronodular groups of fluid collection and having sharp edges.


Question:

Are cysts in the breast the same as fibrocystic breasts?
No. Fibrocystic changes are mostly thickened areas of the breast glands and supporting fibrous tissue. The breast normally is composed of mostly fatty tissue. The glands and ducts are only a small part of the breast unless they undergo fibrocystic change or are stimulated by pregnancy. Fibrocystic change is much more a fibrous than cystic but some cysts can occur.
Cysts can occur on their own or in a setting of fibrocystic change and when they do, they present more as a discrete mass you can get your fingers around. Fibrocystic change alone is a diffuse, rubbery thickening without any areas containing much fluid.

How are the breast cysts treated - what does a surgeon do?
If there is a cystic, fluid filled area seen on ultrasound of the breast and the characteristics are benign, the usual treatment is to put a needle in the cyst and draw off (aspirate) the fluid. If the fluid is clear or yellow color but with no evidence of blood in it, the fluid is just discarded since this always means the cyst is non cancerous (5). The woman just then waits to see if the cyst recurs. If it does not, no other treatment is needed. If it does recur, an excision of the cyst or a 2nd aspiration may be performed.


If on ultrasound the cyst appears to have any characteristics of malignancy, or if on aspiration of a benign cyst bloody fluid is found, then the cyst is surgically excised just as if it were a solid lesion.

Question:
Will cysts in the breast keep coming back?
They may. In women who have breast cyst aspiration, about 40% will have recurrences with two to five recurrences in 36 per cent and more than five recurrences in 4 per cent. It seems that the younger the age at which a woman has breast cysts, the more likely it is she will have a recurrence. After menopause, hormone replacement does not cause cyst development (8). The different progestins can increase breast density more so than the estrogen component but neither seem to produce cysts.

Research information that has proved interesting

A paper in ARCH Surgical/Vol 134, May 1999, pages 487-493 entitled Surgical Management of Phyllodes Tumors written by Abeel Mangi, MD; Barbara L. Smith, MD PhD; Michele A Gadd, MD; Kenneth K. Tanabe, MD; Mark J. Ott, MD; and Wiley W. Souba, MD ScD states:

Occurs most often in the third and fourth decades of life
Higher in whites in general
Case reports of technetium 99 in primary and metastasis tumors
Difficult if not impossible to distinguish from fibro adenoma…except when quite large
Age range 17-74 years
Premenopausal
Two patients reported a family history of colon cancer
In the group with left sided lesions, 13 (76%) were in the upper outer quadrant
Inability to demonstrate a relationship, which makes it difficult to make specific treatment recommendations based on grade, may result from an insufficient number of patients with high grade PT and differences in histological grading between pathologists.
Margins of 1 cm or greater did not have local reoccurrences

I found the discussion at the end of this paper especially interesting in regards to the surgical removal of small fibroadenomas in young women in their second decade.

In another interesting paper published in the Journal of the Egyptian National Cancer Institute, vol 18, No. 2, June: pages 125-133, entitled Predictive Factors of Local Recurrence and Survival Following Primary Surgical Treatment of Phyllodes Tumor of the Breast, authors Hassan M Abdallah, MD and Mona A. Sakr, MD of Cairo University cite:


And yet another review out of the World Journal of Surgical Oncology in regards to Giant Breast tumors: Surgical management of phyllodes tumors, potential for reconstructive surgery and a review of literature states: